The Republic Is Secure

President Obama is now back from his Hawaiian vacation, ready to do battle with Republicans on behalf of the “common man,” with whom he identifies so readily. His common touch is always seen in his vacations to Hawaii, Martha’s Vineyard, and other inexpensive places.

And like all common people, he enjoys recreational activities. And if a planned wedding is in the way, all the couple has to do is move to a new venue at a moment’s notice. After all, it hasn’t yet come to this:

Need to Move

As with all average Americans, it’s time now for him to get back to work:

Inequality

It’s time now to fulfill all his promises and keep the evil Republicans in check with his presidential authority:

Vetoed

And if he doesn’t have the authority, we don’t have to worry, because he’s always attentive and respectful of the nation’s founding document:

Killing Time

And the American public blissfully goes about its daily business, satisfied with the leadership he and his team have always shown:

Most Admired

You needn’t bother with staying abreast of what’s actually happening. Just trust your president; he will do the right thing. The Republic is secure.