Once upon a time, in the fantasy land of honest liberal news reporting, there lived an organization known as CNN. This purported news organization, founded by the legendary Theodore Turner, claimed to be the most trusted name in news. Everyone watched CNN, primarily because it was the only cable news channel in existence.
As in many fairy tales, and confirmed in Scripture, pride comes before a fall. And, lo and behold, other news organizations arose to carry on mortal combat with the Supreme Leader. As time passed, the CNN monolith slowly faded from view—or more accurately, from viewers. Eager to reclaim its once lofty title, this organization made an even more decided turn to the Left—all the better to take on the miniscule MSNBC—and hoping to offer a progressive alternative to the new undisputed champion, Fox News.
Those who abandoned the decrepit former leader were aghast at the loss of real news. There was gnashing of teeth and ripping of robes over the decline of the giant. Some even felt an advisory ought to be verbalized prior to its “reporting”:
As ratings plummeted, the once-vaunted CNN tried other tactics, such as sensationalizing any bit of high-profile news that came its way. For instance, a missing Malaysian airliner became a 24/7 event. Ratings spiked, momentarily, only to fall once again when the crisis could no longer be milked for sensationalism.
The organization became a running joke, as evidenced by a series of mocking cartoons by one of the chief commentators in the kingdom:
One suspects this story will not end with “And they all lived happily ever after.”